


Don’t Leave Me

by wanderer765



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:54:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22382905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderer765/pseuds/wanderer765
Summary: Sorry I’ve been away so long, I’ve REALLY struggled with writers block, but I’m hoping this is the beginning of my great comeback ;)Shoutout to my boo @backtothestart02 for reading this over and giving me wonderful feedback. You are appreciated!Hope you all enjoy <33I was really disappointed with how they dealt with the lead up to Crisis in pretty much every single way, but ESPECIALLY in regards to Iris and WestAllen. This is my attempt at remedying that and giving them a chance to talk about losing each other and Iris’ frustrations about feeling left out/overlooked by Barry in his attempts to “ready” the team for his death *insert eyeroll*
Relationships: Barry Allen/Iris West
Comments: 5
Kudos: 84





	Don’t Leave Me

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I’ve been away so long, I’ve REALLY struggled with writers block, but I’m hoping this is the beginning of my great comeback ;) 
> 
> Shoutout to my boo @backtothestart02 for reading this over and giving me wonderful feedback. You are appreciated! 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy <33
> 
> I was really disappointed with how they dealt with the lead up to Crisis in pretty much every single way, but ESPECIALLY in regards to Iris and WestAllen. This is my attempt at remedying that and giving them a chance to talk about losing each other and Iris’ frustrations about feeling left out/overlooked by Barry in his attempts to “ready” the team for his death *insert eyeroll*

She was angry at him and she hated that she was, given that they had so few days left together. She couldn’t understand why he was being so cavalier about his impending death. 

But even more than that, she couldn’t understand why he was so focused on everyone but her. Wasn’t he sad about leaving her? Wasn’t he going to miss her?

All she wanted to do was spend every waking moment with him, but it seemed he’d rather be anywhere else. 

It hurt. 

She’d spent the last three or four days almost entirely at the Citizen, not bothering to stop by at CCPD or Star Labs like she usually did for lunch or random breaks throughout the day. 

It was easier to not be around him. Or at least that’s what she was telling herself. She couldn’t stand there and watch him put all his energy into preparing all these other people for life without him.

He didn’t seem to notice or care that she was pulling away. That she gave short, curt responses to the few text messages he’d sent her over the last few days. 

She was drowning right in front of him while he sat on the lifeboat, pulling Cisco and Ralph and Killer Frost up to join him. All the while she was sinking further and further into the dark water. Alone. 

She buried herself in her work, trying not to allow herself time to think about him. But the more she tried to push him from her mind the more she thought about him. 

The way he used to sit and wait for her at Jitters with her exact order, excited to hear how her day was going. Patiently listening to her relationship woes with Eddie and how she knew he was keeping things from her. 

The way he’d cheer her up and tell her how fearless and brave she was when she was chasing a story she felt hopeless about. 

The way he’d hug her and how perfectly she fit in his arms. How the way he made her feel hadn’t changed in the nineteen years they’d known each other. 

The way he’d start and end his day with an _I love you_.

A tear escaped and she quickly wiped it away and tried to refocus on writing. 

“Hey.”

She was startled and looked up to find Barry leaning in the doorway to her office. He hadn’t flashed in like he usually did. He’d arrived quietly and without her even noticing. 

“H-hey,” she replied. 

She continued typing away. 

She felt his gaze on her but she wouldn’t turn her attention away from her computer screen. 

He sat on the couch across from her and they sat in silence for what felt like an eternity before he finally spoke again. 

“Iris...are you mad at me?”

She quietly scoffed, and continued typing. 

“...’cause it feels like you’re mad at me. I feel like you’ve barely said two words to me these past few days and I haven’t seen you around Star Labs at all. I mean, you’ve even stopped showing up for our lunch dates at my lab.”

She still wouldn’t look at him or stop working on her article. 

“Iris. Can you please talk to me? I’m going crazy here.”

“I honestly didn’t think you even noticed that I haven’t been around...”

“What? Of course I have.”

She saved her work and closed her laptop abruptly, pushing her chair back and standing up to lean against her desk. 

“Do you even care about leaving me?”

“What?” 

His eyes focused in on hers. 

“You’ve spent all this time preparing other people, being there for other people, having these emotional moments about what life will be like for them after you’re gone. What about me Barry? 

You don’t even look sad when I tell you I’m not ready to lose you.”

“Are you?....Iris....you can’t be serious?”

Tears filled her eyes and she stepped closer to him.

“Are you even going to miss me?”

The hurt that covered his face was evident to her immediately, but she kept pressing. 

“I feel like I’ve been so raw in showing you how I’m feeling and it seems like I get no response. Do you have any idea how shitty that’s made me feel? To have to stand there and listen to you talk to our friends with such worry and care and then I get nothing. I’m your wife Barry, and I thought I was the most important person in your life, yet I’m not even on your list am I? I thought you were the one person I could let my walls down around, the one person who I don’t always have to be strong with. I thought that I’d be allowed to cry and have my husband comfort me, that’d you’d want to do everything in your power to try and make this easier for me when the reality is all you’ve done is make it harder.”

The room fell silent again. 

Barry leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. He brought a hand up and rubbed the back of his head, looking down at the floor and away from her. He was clearly embarrassed, hurt even. 

A little part of her was scared she’d said too much, but they were always honest with each other and she couldn’t keep pretending that everything was ok. 

“Do you really not understand why I’ve been so distant when it comes to you and all of this?” he asked her.

She shrugged her shoulders, waiting for him to finally be honest and vulnerable with her. 

He got up and stood in front of her. 

“I have to completely disconnect from myself when I think about leaving you. If I let myself be present...Iris, I would completely lose it. I wouldn’t even be able to get up in the morning. I don’t wanna deal with it so I’ve been avoiding it and I know that’s wrong and so unfair to you and I’m truly, truly sorry that I’ve hurt you. 

God...the thought of leaving you alone, of not getting to hold you or kiss you or...”

She stood closer to him wrapping her arms around his neck, pressing their bodies together. His arms wrapped around her waist. 

“Baby. I want all of that brokenness, all of that fear. We’re never going to get through these next few weeks if we can’t let ourselves feel it all. Together.

I don’t want this to end with me resenting you because you wouldn’t let me in. We said we were going to make the most of our time left together...but it’s been feeling like you’d rather spend your time with everyone but me. And that hurts. It really, really hurts.”

He looked ashamed. 

“I’m so sorry Iris. I hate that I’ve made you feel that way and I promise from here on out it’s all about you.

It’s just. I don’t know how we’re supposed to do this. How do you prepare yourself to say goodbye to the love of your life? I don’t -“

He leaned his head into the crook of her neck and let himself cry. 

She held on to him, carrying the weight of their end with him. It was almost unbearable. 

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. We just have to take it one day at a time I guess. 

And we have to stop pushing each other away. I need you Barry.”

“I need you too, so much.”

He lifted his head and leaned his forehead against hers, holding her face in his hands.

“I’m so in love with you Iris and I always, always will be. And you are without a doubt the most important person in my life.”

He pressed a kiss to her lips.  


Things quickly escalated with roaming hands and hungry mouths after days of barely touching or speaking to each other. 

Iris moaned into the kiss as his fingers dug into the flesh of her hips, pulling her impossibly close.

They finally broke apart for air and laughed at the precipice in which they found themselves on. 

“Together from here on out. Promise?” she asked him.

“Promise. Let’s go home.”


End file.
